Who is this bachelor? Is a thousand words worth a picture? I am as extravagant as Microsoft Paint but will put the spotlight on you.
Profile of 00photo
Favorite hot spots:
I do not claim to be an expert on hot spots. Need I remind you that I am using an online dating site? However, thanks to me, netdates.org will be a major hot spot. Everyone will be a VIP.
Favorite things:
[Insert your name here]. Nothing could be better. Okay, maybe with a little whipped cream. Hey, who doesn’t like whipped cream?
Last read:
My last read was Profile of 00photo. CLIFFHANGER! Shared it with all my friends. One time we thought we saw him in person, and one of us was gonna wink, but we all chickened out. One day though, he’ll propose to me. Who will play me in the movie?
Occupation:
Not a professional writer but good guess. Try medical professional with the heart of a professional Radio Flyer driver. Believe me: In imaginary world, we drivers get paid big bucks. Enough about my heart, my most important job is to win your heart.
Education:
The State of South Dakota has made me who I am today. I was educated by Yankton High School and South Dakota State University. I played a lot of video games early in life. My education taught me that my princess is in another castle.
For fun:
I enjoy making what are called jokes. They are intended to make you laugh. Males display them to attract females. For more information on jokes and how they make the environment funnier, contact your local government office.
Faith:
“In God we trust.” If it is written on our currency, the message has to be important. This is my attempt to follow my passion and promote peace, but your heart is the key. Use money for good. Love God and love each other as you love yourself.
Ethnicity:
I say people are all special characters. I was born to a family of exclamation points, but I turned out to be the question mark of the family. I dated an asterisk, but she was never up front about what she said. In God’s eyes, we are all equal signs.
Date idea:
Visit a whipped cream factory, that is where the magic happens.
About me
Is a thousand words worth a picture?
You may not know what I look like but can get to know me by reading what I have to say. You can also get to know me by starting a conversation with me. How about a drink to get the conversation started? Drinks are on you.
Only the best will discover who I am. Getting through to me won’t be easy. Try airing an ad during the Super Bowl or performing at halftime. Girls from South Dakota have a leg up at meeting me. Write an outstanding profile and get a professional to take your picture, i.e., me. Tell your friends about me. Of course, that will mean possible competition, but perhaps a team approach is in order.
Do my words sound intimidating? Well, it is about you, not me. The power is yours, not mine. The success of this profile lies in your hands. My equation needs you in it to equal happiness. I get the feeling that the first female to send me an email will be very special. How special depends on you. I will leave it up to you to decide what the reward is. If this does not work, I might have to air an ad during the Puppy Bowl.
Beginner Hint 1: I have a sense of humor but do not fully understand it. I am not funny all the time but have my moments. This is one of those moments. My major goal is to make you smile. If this profile has made you smile, send me a wink to verify that you have a sense of humor also. The following diagram illustrates what you will be doing ;-)
My winks are not random. If I send you a wink, it is because I have noticed something attractive about you. Email me to find out what it was. Beauty is in the eye of the wink.
Beginner Hint 2: You must have at least one question on your mind. Send me an email and ask it. I can think of one question that I want to ask one special girl. I will not be asking it via email though, via one knee rather. Your answer to my question will probably be far more pressing than any answer I can give you.
Executive Hint: Read between the lines. What kind of drink am I asking you for? I may accept a cup of whipped cream for partial credit but that depends…I am as extravagant as Microsoft Paint but will put the spotlight on you.
Limited Time Offer, ACT NOW! Although my offer inherently limits the time you can act within, I have not yet decided on my headquarters and could move anywhere. Email me and tell me about the place where you live and whom I will find there.
I am a Catholic man searching for a Christian woman. You can find me at church every weekend. I don’t think I can make you smile without the help of Jesus. I am looking for someone who does not smoke, do illicit drugs, or drink…alcohol or soda.
A strong education is attractive and so is an SDSU Jackrabbit sweatshirt. Symbolically adopt a Jackrabbit by purchasing Jackrabbit apparel. Together we can sustain the Jackrabbit population. Post your look on social media. Not only would the world be more fashionable, but it would also be a better place.
Symbolically reject going on a date with me by purchasing and wearing University of South Dakota apparel. I think we both know which university will get the most publicity. It looks like the world will be getting a boost in our supply of doctors and lawyers.
Sometimes I wonder what you are doing right now. Are you thinking of me? I can tell you what I am doing: Waiting for you to wink at me, so I can update my Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”
At some point you will ask yourself: Do I need to know who this bachelor is? If this profile has left you in a trance, then I think you know what the answer is.
Well, that’s it for me and my 4000-character mouth. Some say I am a man of few words. Others say I am a man of character. If I had to choose one character, it would be U. If I had to choose one word, it would be US. I hope I have enough character for you to choose me. Am I worth it?
I look forward to witnessing intentional use of your eyelid muscles. Better yet, could you try that with whipped cream?
One last thing, tell…oops, out f charctrs ust use email